Why Self-doubt is Killing my Dream
WOW!!! It’s really the new year ya’ll. I know everyone has set new goals for this ear, including me. And one of those goals is to get on a posting schedule. I’ve been trying really hard to use any free time I have towards my blog, because I know this won’t ever become my full-time job without an investment. That investment comes in the form of time dedicated to shooting/editing posts, costs of wardrobe/photographers, and also the technical investment into software & hardware, all to hopefully achieve my dream of working as a full-time content creator.
Anyone reading this that is in the creative industry understands the sacrifices that MUST be made in order to one day be paid (rolls eyes so far back I twitch). I realized that unless I absolutely take myself seriously, no one else will. Unless I make sacrifices for myself, why would anyone else? And if I don’t put the time in, how could I ask someone else for theirs? For the past few years my focus has been on school and since coming to all these realizations, I’ve decided to take some time off and commit the next 6-months to really putting all my efforts in. Realistically 6-months is not a large window of time but I hope that it will be enough to show some progress. Enough progress to qualm my doubts about whether or not I’m headed in the right direction.
Doubt has been my #1 enemy thus far. Or maybe it’s #2 since I’m sure I, myself, have been my own worse enemy. Self-doubt is a killer. A killer of hopes, dreams, goals, ambition. The truth is, I’ve been blogging part-time for at least 8-years now. But i’ve never committed to it 100% because who has real jobs like this anyway? Well jokes on me, because now everyone does. Some of my peers are doing so well in the creative industry that my comparison to them has also lead me to self-doubt. And so it’s a vicious circle of me thinking i’ve found my passion, and me doubting that I’ve chosen the right path. And around and around I go.
SO! with all that being said (and I’m sure many can relate), one of my other goals is to extinguish the flame of self-doubt that’s always bubbling just below the surface. And just being real, I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully be 100% self-assured, but I can learn to have more faith in myself and stop comparing myself/my life, to others. I know someone somewhere once said something about comparison being the thief of joy. And I completely agree with them.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
It is easier said than done to tackle intangible bad-habits, but the one thing that has been working for me is spending less time on social media. I know that sounds counter-productive considering I’m trying to make blogging my career but it’s important to understand triggers and scrolling on instagram for 6-hours a day definitely isn’t helping me in the ‘no comparisons’ department. I do allow myself time for.. ahem..'“research” and by that I mean checking-in with all my favs and also finding new accounts for inspiration. In this way, social media can provide a plethora of new ideas and introduce you to new information & ideas you otherwise wouldn’t have known about. But if I’m scrolling through someone’s feed and their posts are making me—and I say this loosely because no-one can ‘make’ you feel anything—feel insecure or jealous, then I either unfollow or exit out of the app. Out of sight, out of mind. And while this behavior certainly doesn’t cure me of these feelings, it at least helps.
As for my blogging career, I’ve decided to just commit. I’m committing my time and energy and creativity an money and.. *cries in broke*, because I love to do it. I love shooting content and I especially love editing it. This is my art & my way of showcasing myself to the world, and the truth is I’ve loved doing the same as a child. *See below photos as proof*
So I’m just going to give it time & real effort + investments. This is the only true way I can see to put all my doubts aside, is if I actually give 100%. Because if it doesn’t work, at least I know I gave myself a real chance by trying. (that’s my pep talk to myself lol). Do you ever feel this type of self-doubt in your career? I wonder this all the time about my peers who seemed to have life all-figured out by age 3. If you’re a creative as well, leave me some thoughts or ideas on how you deal with these feelings. And if you read this far, YOU ARE APPRECIATED!
About this look tho, I’ve been trying not to put myself in a box when it comes to my style. Going back to my roots of wearing whatever the fck I want, instead of trying to fit into some lame-ass mold. I don’t think I ever really fit the cookie-cutter blogger style, but I’ve had my moments where I thought I’d have more success by trying to fit in. That didn’t work, so here we are. Just experimenting with my looks and this dress really felt sleek, but sexy. Showing the right curves. Tbh I envisioned an all-white/off-white look but in real-life I probably won’t own a pair of white boots because they’re only white on the first day. How do you keep those clean? And about this bag, it really gave a luxe look and I loved the snake detail. I could say so much about these earrings, but to keep it short, these beautiful pearl drops are timeless and the shape of the stems bring an earthy vibe, truly reflecting my perfect accessory. All the links below.
Tiffany Simone
xx
